Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can I color on your dick again?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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