I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
