The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
