I looked at my own cervix.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
