Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
