There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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