She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
