I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
