Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
