Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
