Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
