Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
