By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
