she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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