I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
