What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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