You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
