It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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