Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
