I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
