my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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