she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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