Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
