I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
