So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
