I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
