Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
