Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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