I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She announced her abortion via fbk
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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