i would punch a child for taco bell
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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