wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
