if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
