wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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