I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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