Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
