Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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