guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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