waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
