i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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