The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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