wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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