I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
