you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
