It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
