if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
