Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
