She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
