Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We are two peas in an std pod
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
