I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
