part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
