i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
