a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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